At the age of Twenty

If given a choice to pick a age for the rest of my life, I'll definitely choose you, my 20 years of age. No, I am not going to choose 3 years, the age of my first encounter with school, for I have only vague recollections of that age now. I'll not choose 13 years, the age of the transformation from being a girl to being a woman, for that age was full of embarassment. Not 18 years either, the age of being an adult, for in that age I was too busy in preparing for my engineering entrance to think about the facilities of coming of age. 28 years? The age of motherhood? Yes, motherhood is indeed blissful, I do admit that, but then that was a period of turmoil in my life. So, I choose you, 20 years. You are the age full of youthful energy, love for life and lot of laughter. You are all that, and more than that.

"Jisne hamein milaya, jisne juda kiya

Us waqt, us ghadi, us gajar ko salaam

Aye pyaar teri pehli nazar ko salaam

Salaam aye pyaar teri pehli nazar ko salaam"

(The one who united us, the one who separated us

I salute that time, that moment, that clock

Hey love, I salute your first sight 

Hey love, I salute your first sight)

Today, as I sit back and reflect on that age, this song comes to my. Yes, 20 years, you are special, for you made me meet my first crush. And as all of us know, what on earth can be as innocent as the first encounter with love at the age of 20 years? Yes, my crush for him never materialized into any relationship. And yet, I don't have any regret for that now. Because with growing maturity, you come to realize that in any relationship, there are many ups and downs, there are pains of separation, there are break-ups and tear-drops. But not in one-sided crush. In any stage of life, if you remember your first crush, that'll surely lit up your soul and leave a lingering smile on your lips. And I am thankful to my 20 years of age for gifting me that experience.

And I remember one particular afternoon vividly. Back in my college days, I used to be a member of The British Council. On one such day, which was a holiday in our college, I had gone to the British Council Library. I was  searching for the books to borrow. I zeroed on a few and took a paper from my bag to write the names of the books. When I opened the folded paper, I got the shock of my life. Scribbled in the paper was a love-letter, addressed to me. There was no name of the sender, just a "Guess Who" written in the bottom of the page. I knew the handwriting. It was none other than him. That afternoon seemed the most magical afternoon in Kolkata. The fading sun-light had the hue of honey. The traffic seemed to move slowly at Chowringhee. I was not walking, I was floating in the afternoon breeze.

That was the magic of the age of 20 years. The world seemed to be a fair place to live in, the life ahead seemed to be promising, friendships seemed to be ever-lasting, all the peppy Bollywood numbers seemed to be meaningful in real life.

Hey 20, I miss you. But you are always there, close to my heart, close to my soul. Even today, when life seems too dull and dreary, I just remember you. And see, your memories always leave a bright smile on my face. Cheers to 20!

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, 

an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

 

 This is a WOW post!

 

Review: Undelivered Letters

Undelivered Letters by J. Alchem
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

First of all, I'd like to thank Sidra for giving me a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. Here goes the review:

Technology has made it easier for us to connect with others quickly and easily. Now we can instantly send messages via e-mail, sms or whatsapp. But just think of the world as it used to be around two decades ago, when people didn't have the opportunity to communicate with one another with such ease. The only way available for communication was letters. Yes, this book talks about letters, which have become extinct now-a-days. The protagonist of this book, Aron, used to be a postman couple of decades back. After two decades, while he and his wife were packing their belongings for shifting to a new house, they accidentally come across some old letters, that he was supposed to deliver to their recipients twenty years ago. But he somehow forgot to deliver those letters. Now, driven by his conscience, he decides to deliver the letters to their original recipients and embarks upon his journey. Now, if I disclose any further, that would be a spoiler. So go and read the book to find out the rest.

The book surely has a different kind of story-line, which will surely amaze you. The whole book will take you to a roller-coaster ride of emotions. I had read the previous book, "The Highway Man" by the same author, which also had stories with novel story-lines. So I was curious to read this one too. And I am not disappointed. It's a short novel and I managed to finish it in just two sittings.

So, if you are looking for some out-of-the-box story-line to indulge in your weekend, go for "Undelivered Letters". You'll surely love it.

View all my reviews

Happy Children's Day to the Grown-ups!

"Ye daulat bhi le lo, ye shohrat bhi le lo
Bhale chhin lo mujhse meri jawaani
Magar mujhko lauta do bachpan ka saawan
Wo kaagaz kikashti, wo baarish ka paani..."

(Take away my wealth and fame
You may even take my youth
But please return the monsoon of my childhood
That paper made boat, and the rain in which I used to play in...)

I am sure this song echoes the feelings of not just me, but many grown-ups. We all longed to grow up fast in our childhood days. We thought at that time that adulthood was real fun. After all, there will be no more school, no more scolding by our parents, no more exams. And most important of all, there will be freedom for us. We'll free to lead our life the way we want, finally. But when we grow up finally, how we miss our childhood. That's the irony of life.

Today the whole country is celebrating Children's Day. My son, who is a student of a reputed English medium school of pre-primary, received a chocolate, one pencil and one eraser as his Children's Day gift from school yesterday. Today he has a holiday on account of the same. Needless to say, he is ecstatic with joy. My mother, who is a school teacher, was preparing her speech on the occasion of Children's Day. All the grown-up parents of little children are availing discounts to celebrate Children's Day. I myself ordered some t-shirts for my son online, which were available at great discounts on the same occasion. These made me wonder about the little child that resides in all of us. This Children's Day, why not pamper the children in us? For a moment, just forget that you are an adult. Think like u often thought a few decades back. Today, do not think twice before getting drenched a little in the rain. Or you may try floating paper-boats in a puddle of water. Pamper your taste-buds little bit and savour some laddu or rosogolla. Treat yourself with a few extra hot panipuris. Read your favourite childhood fairy-tale once more. Turn on the television and watch a cartoon show you loved once. What was it? Mickey mouse or Tom & Jerry? Forget those drab formal dresses and wear a colourful dress to office today. Let the child in you live a long life.

Here's wishing HaPpy ChiLDreN's DaY to all the grown-ups! Go back to your childhood once again. Help to make the world a better place for today's children. After all, there's nothing as innocent as childhood.

Pal Ye Bhi Jaanewala Hai

"Aanewala Pal Jaanwala Hai,
Ho Sake To Iss Mein Zindagi Bitaado
Pal Jo Yeh Jaanewala Hai..."

(The moment that is to arrive, is about to pass by,
If you can, in it, live your life...
This moment, that is about to pass by.)

I often hum this song. Just like now, as I am writing these lines, I am crooning this beautiful song, with it's beautiful lyrics soothing my soul.

It's not just a song for me, it's my philosophy of life. Gulzar Saab has done a great job by intertwining deep philosophy into lyrical words, that's sure to touch a chord somewhere within us.

Our time is limited. Moments come and go. In between these moments, we must seek to live our life. Our precious life.

"Ek Baar Waqt Se Lamha Gira Kahin
Wahan Dastan Milim Lamha Kahin Nahin
Thoda Sa Hasaake, Thoda Sa Rulaake,
Pal Ye Bhi Jaanewala Hai..."

(Once, a moment fell from the grasp of time somewhere
There I found this legend, The moment was nowhere,
Making you laugh a little, Making you cry a little
This moment is also about to pass by...)

Surely, we have our own moments of joy as well as moments of sorrow. But none is permanent. Some moments make us smile, some make us cry. Ultimately, they all pass by. Whenever I remember this philosophy, it makes me sober in times of ecstatic joy. Likewise, in moments of extreme despair, it comforts me, for after all, we all know that 'Pal Ye Bhi Jaanewala Hai.' That's the beauty of life, where nothing persists. Impermanence is the law of life.

This philosophy is rooted in our very own Indian culture. In the Mahabharata also, this same philosophy has been preached.

"Aivam aitad anaadya antam bhootasamhaara kaarakam
Anaadi nidhanam loke chakram sam parivartate..."

(And in this way the wheel of Time causes destruction of everything, without beginning or end.)

It is the Big Bang of the Hindu cosmology. The central theme of the Mahabharata is this very dual nature of existence: one reality which the human mind inhabits with itself at the core and the universe revolving around it, the other governed by the relentless passage of time to which all of creation- both animate and inanimate- must ultimately succumb.

Without going into the intricacies of the deeper philosophy, this song preaches to live life in it's moments, to live a full life, to savour all the tastes that life has to offer. And that is the beauty of it's lyrics. When in despair, just remember that 'Pal Ye Bhi Jaanewala Hai'. That may not help to subside your pain, but that will at least give you enough strength to sail through your tough times more smoothly.

Have you heard this song? If not, do give it a try. It's worth your time and effort. 

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend,

an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

This is a WOW post!

Durga Puja: A Few Glimpses into the Pujas of our Locality

Durga Puja is the greatest festivals of we Bengalis. And rightly so. From the varied design of pandels to the large idols of gods and goddesses to the colourful lighting- no other festival can match the grandeur of Durga Puja in Bengal.

This year, the unseasonal rain during Puja acted as a spoiler. Still, the pandals and the streets were teeming with people, whenever the rainfall stopped for a while. Today I'll share some pictures of Durga Puja in our locality, Andul, which is some 13 kms away from Howrah. Lets take a look and share your thoughts.

This is our own parar pujo

The area adjoining the pandal has been themed on countryside Bengal

The deity inside a local pandal

My son inside a pandal

This is the pandal of a famous Puja of our locality

The idols inside the pandal

The pandal has been made of the spare parts of automobiles

Decoration of the roof of the pandal

The famous Puja of Andul Rajbari

Another local Puja

All the photos have been clicked by me. Do share your valuable feedback. How you enjoyed your Puja days? 

Happy Festive Season to all of you.

Children from Broken Homes

"Jadidang hridayang mama, tadidang hridayang taba..."
(As long as I reside in your heart, so long will you reside in my heart).

The bride and the groom chants these mantras, and go around the sacred fire seven times. In marriage, they take the vows to be with each other until death does them apart. To be with each other not just in this lifetime, but for seven consecutive lives. 

But in recent times, we are witnessing a good many number of marriages resulting in divorce. With increasing opportunities for education, women are also availing themselves of job opportunities and earning as much as their male counterparts. With none of the partners being dependent on the other, the institution of marriage is becoming redundant. Women these days are  increasingly opting out of bitter marriages, rather than forcing themselves to compromise and to stay in a bad marriage just for the sake of financial security or in fear of the social stigma attached with the D-word. I am not against breaking up of marriages. When a relationship has gone toxic, there is no point in continuing it, for whatever reason it may be, because ultimately in the long run, it doesn't do any good to both the parties. But what about the children born out of such wedlock, that resulted in divorce ultimately? Does divorce affect the social, mental and physical health of a child?

There is no point in denying the fact that yes, to some extent, divorce does affect the child. After all, all children need the love and care of both the parents. It's natural. Let us delve deeper into the negative aspects of single-parenting.

1. Children recognize quite early in life that they belong to one sex or the other- that they are a boy or a girl. This is termed by psychologists as gender identity. According to psychology, children have a preference for imitating the behaviour and dress of their same-sex parent. As they become increasingly aware of these similarities, they conclude that they are "a boy like Daddy" or "a girl like Mummy". However, other factors have also been found to play a role in gender development, so this is only part of the total story. But then, what happens to children who are growing up in families where one of the parents is absent? Think about the single-mothers raising sons and single-fathers raising daughters.

2. Think about the children, who after reaching their adolescence, become aware of the meaning of the D-word. Adolescents react to divorce with fear, anxiety, and guilt. They become angry at the remaining parent, wondering, " What did she/he do to make my father/mother leave?" And sometimes they blame themselves: "Why doesn't he love me anymore?"

3. Research (Lemme, 1999) suggests that one lasting effect of divorce that has emerged in recent years is this: Children whose parents divorced seem to be significantly less likely to marry than those whose parents did not.

4. Think about the child who sees both parents of his/her friends to attend the parent-teacher meetings, the annual function at school or the school sports. Think about his/her sense of loss.

But this is not the whole story. Growing up in dysfunctional families- families that do not meet children's needs- can actually  harm them way more than growing up in single-parent families can do. For example, consider what it is like for children growing up in homes where the father is alcoholic. And try to imagine what it is like for youngsters who must deal with parents who suffer from serious psychological problems- problems that may cause them to act in unpredictable, abusive, or even physically threatening ways. Clearly such parents do not provide the kind of guidance, consistent control, and support children need for successful development. Research findings indicate that when these factors are lacking, children and adolescents are at increased risk for a wide range of problems, such as drug abuse, stealing, disobedience at home and at school, and overt aggression.

In such a scenario, it's far more advisable to break the marriage, than continuing it any further. May be, in that case, children will miss the love of one of the parents, but then, the other parent usually will try to compensate for that loss by trying to take the place of both the parents. Children will get a healthy atmosphere to grow up where there will not be any abusive languages or any kind of domestic violence. With time, they will gradually begin to appreciate the kind of effort that his/her single parent has put into for their proper upbringing and well-being.

Let us all hope for a better future for all our children. Children are the future of mother earth. Their well-being will ensure the well-being of this planet in future. Let them all grow up to their full potential.

This post is written in line with the Prompt : Divorce affects the social, mental and physical health of a child. Agree or disagree? #divorce

The Story of a Mobile

It is mid-October. The early morning air is crisp and cool, the sunlight has the colour of honey. Standing on the second-floor balcony of her house, she is fidgeting with her old mobile. It's an old model of Nokia, with beautiful sky-blue colour. This mobile has witnessed many happy moments of her life. It is privy to many sad moments too.

She opened the gallery of the mobile. A deluge of memories came gushing by. There's the picture of her soft, fair palms, adorned by Bridal mehendi. She on the day of her aiburo-bhat, a plate full of delectable dishes in front of her, ready to be eaten. She in a bright yellow saree, with brigher shade of yellow turmeric pasted on her cheeks, an entourage of aunties and friends surrounding her. She in the bright red Benarasi Saree of a bride, exchanging garlands with him. She smiling coyly at the camera, her forehead full of bright red sindur, just applied by her husband, the sacred fire being the witness. She in the bright green jardousi saree, her hand entwined in his hand, both smiling at the camera, on the day of their wedding reception. 

Then there are pictures of their honeymoon by the sea-side.

Their first Valentines Day celebration together.

First anniversary.

First Durga Puja after their marriage.

Now she opened the audio-files. He calling her whore. She recording the abusive languages to be produced to court for getting divorce from him.

The weight of these memories feels heavy on her heart, as if they are almost crushing her soul. Her heart is too tired to carry on these memories. They lie hidden somewhere in the labyrinth of her mind. The Nokia phone with it's sky-blue colour makes them re-surface in her mind, intensifying her suffering, her pain.

She tried to get rid of the phone in past six months, after they legally parted their ways. She tried an assortment of ways. The first thing she did after the divorce was to purchase a brand new Samsung mobile. She then discreetly removed the sim card from her old Nokia mobile, and inserted the same in her newly purchased one. Now the remaining task was to dispose the old mobile. On one occasion, she placed the old mobile on a bench of the Railway platform, before boarding the train. A tea-vendor patrolling the platform yelled, "Didi, you are forgetting your mobile. Look on the bench, here." "Sorry", she mumbled and placed the mobile back in her handbag. On another occasion, she tried to throw the mobile in the water of the Ganga river. While she was taking a last look at it, at the life she has left behind, somebody on the Howrah bridge thought that she had plans of committing suicide and came hurriedly to alert her. No doubt, she was deeply ashamed and had to leave the place in a hurry. There were many failed attempts after that. Now she has gave up those ill-conceived plans.

She decided to keep the mobile locked up in the farthest corner of her wardrobe. The Nokia mobile with beautiful sky-blue colour. The bitter-turned beautiful life. The life with her first love. The death of her first love.

P.S.: Now you don't need to undertake such efforts to get rid of your mobile, because cashify is here to simplify your life. Now you can dispose your old mobiles, tablets, televisions, laptops very easily and even get paid for that! All you have to do is just visit their website and follow some basic steps as directed in their site.

Here goes the link. Just click here: https://www.cashify.in/

What's more, use the coupon code CLEANCASH and you'll get an additional Rs.250 on the sale of your gadgets.

So, hurry up and do visit the site.
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